This made me smile!

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.""Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-termharm caused by the germs in our drinking water."But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have or will eat it.Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, " Wedding cake."

Just to let you know mountain mama and Merle can't access your blogs at the mo so hello to you both andtrust your both well
. God Bless
from Tracie

THE WRONG END OF THE STICK !!

Claire came home from school yesterday rather excited at the prospect of doing a project. The teacher had said they could choose their own choice of person but gave a few pointers as regards to the project content. I was busy cooking dinner and suggested that Claire think about who she'd like to write about and to research some info on the internet.
I suggested the late Steve Erwin as he was Australian and l thought she might pick up a few useful facts about oz at the same time; Claire too thought this was a brilliant idea.
Things were coming along nicely; she kept showing me bits of info and asking for advice as to which bits to include and what facts were useful.
Claire had now eaten her tea and had hastely returned to the computer to continue her project she was really enthuasiastic, l was still at the table eating.
All of a sudden she shouts though.....MUM WHAT DOES PI**ED MEAN?
After nearly choking on my crumble! l shouted back I BEG YOUR PARDON !!
So she shouts a little louder.....I SAID.... WHAT DOES PI**ED MEAN?
No l hadn't heard it wrong!! and continue to shout back...CLAIRE THAT'S A RUDE WORD AND DON'T LET ME HEAR YOU SAY IT AGAIN.
I hear her say IS IT? slightly quieter and sounding a bit mistified....but again says OK I WON'T SAY IT, BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
I say why do you want to know?
She says... well, because it says it here!
(l'm now thinking oh my goodness aren't we going to have some fun whwn we get over there, l did read that in some areas the ozzies refer to the brits as 'pomme ba**ards' .... charming l thought!! and thought this web page Claires on is probably not appropriate!!)
I now reluctantly drop my spoon in bowl and make my way to Claire.
I say calmly, show me what your reading about Claire...............she says equally as calmly... Look mum it says here about when Steve died; the stingray "pierced" his heart!!!!!!!!!! isn't that horrible mum? she followed by saying she did want to put that bit in!! I cut across her words and said thats fine Claire, put it in just make sure you pronounce it correctly when your reading it aloud to the class, she couldn't believe what l thought she meant!!!
If l had gone to investigate sooner instead of filling my face l could have saved the confusion but as usual it did give us a good laugh!!

Cleaning and more cleaning !!

Well the paint and brushes have now been replaced with cloths and cleaning products.
The house is now on the market, when it sells we will be moving over to Australia. Sounds so easy if you say it quick enough!!
So in the time that we are waiting everything has to be sorted through.
All of Andy's tools have to be cleaned ready for shipping, so we've been sitting in the garage with rags and toothbrushes and scrubbing and polishing anything and everything to do with building. Some of us have more patience than others in these areas!! Who'd have thought that you could get such a sense of achievement from making grotty old tools .....sparkle!
Top tip ......little bowl of warm water a squirt of washing up liquid and a few spoons of white vinegar and lots of elbow grease (bad joke there as elbow is extremely painful at the minute!!) in all seriousness though the top tip is true so give it a try.
We have to enter Australia before June thats when our visas state we have to be in the country, if the house doesn't sell quickly then we will have to go on a holiday there first to activate the visas but we would much prefer to just travel the one-way, we've prayed about the situation and have to leave it in God's hands and his timing; this too sounds easy if you say it quickly!!
God knows how impatient we are in these matters and having to keep the house tidy constantly is an added bonus!! not!!

Claire came out with another of her classics today..........
I bet by the time we get to Australia, we will just get there..... and that will be the day Jesus decides to come back and take us all up with him!!
Well what can l say!!

Another blonde moment !!

coming home from the school with Claire....
Claire says oh mum did dad tell you that the sand in Australia is like silk, his cousin told him.
Yes your dad told me; thats great....
Can we where our shoes, or do we have to take them off....??
What do you mean Claire?
Can we wear our shoes on the sand?
Masses of laughing..... and the question, Are you being serious?
Claire answers......yes.............well we might get it dirty!!!!!!!!!

she says the funniest things.

Anything worth buying in the sales?

My Laura was standing beside this bargain box when one of her friends thought it would be a laugh to nudge her.................she lost her balance and ended up in the bottom and couldn't get out!!

CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN!!


Had a great time at the LakeDistrict at christmas; in fact it was the best christmas in ages We went on a "moderate" walk!!! 4/5 miles l was told; and nobody told me anything about a mountain!! well you'd probably consider it a big hill !! but listen to me,it was a mountain in my book (it was more than 20ft!!)
They kept telling me what an achievment l would have when l got down which is of no comfort when your toes are clawing the insides of your insoles and the only thing your looking out for at every opportunity is a collection bin for unwanted dirty underwear!! the thing that really got to me was the fact l wasn't awarded a bravery badge at the finish post, l did get the standardry family shot as evidence of the momenteous occasion when reaching the top!!
I have a strong inbuilt sense to feel safe at every occasion especially when accompanying young children in very steep places (its a maternal thing) but yes l made it and am here to tell the tale, although at times it was a close call!! and being particulally snotty to ones husband brought a little comfort in such difficult circumstances; especially as he played a part in picking the route whilst in the tourist info place.
I have to include a piccy just to re-live the moment again and to remember "All things are possible"
If anything my trip made me realise how 'comfortable' l have become in everyday living. to be out in Gods creation in the elements made me feel very vunrable at times, l suppose because l have become so unaccustomed in such areas; but to feel the wind blowing through your hair at the top of a mountain and take in the view was such an experience.